The Fruitcake: A twisty murder mystery you won't soon forget by Leah Orr
Author:Leah Orr [Orr, Leah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798985578379
Publisher: Orrplace Press
Published: 2023-10-31T00:00:00+00:00
Chapter Twenty-Six
The New Neighbor
April 2020
Holly
Greta chose a lower body class on her Peloton app for this morningâs sidewalk class. Chase, the instructor, has us start with twenty squats. Chloe, Gina, and I start the squat series, but Greta stands in place.
âWhatâs wrong?â I ask.
âUm, I canât do squats in public.â
âWhat?â
âWhy?â
âSince when?â
We all follow up with our own questions.
âWell, squats make me fart, um, loudly, and, well, so I donât do them in public anymore.â Gretaâs face is flustered, and she starts to laugh.
Now weâre all laughing so hard that Greta has to pause the class.
âI donât believe you,â snipes Gina. âProve it.â
Greta does her squat; sure enough, a short but thunderous fart escapes from her booty.
Through the mist of laughter, Gina says, âNo more boom boom in the zoom zoom for you, girlfriend. Your booty box has had enough. The air escaping is probably because itâs all stretched out.â
More laughter ensues.
âI am quite sure thatâs not the problem Iâm having,â Greta insists.
âSo this is not an adverse effect of dancing the chocolate cha-cha?â Gina banters back.
âNo! I donât do that,â says Greta defiantly, but then she cracks, barely able to keep her face from laughter. âWell, if I did do that, which I definitely did not, my defense would be, what else is there to do at home during Covid than Netflix and chill?â
âNetflix, chill, and mashing brownies, maybe?â Gina proposes. âAnd what do you think about all of this, Chloe?â
Chloe, thrown off balance by the question, answers, âUm, well, maybe drinking more water and less high-fiber foods could help? I think passing gas during rigorous exercise is common. Isnât it? Anyway, how about we pick a new class to take?â
We agree to take a twenty-minute core routine class on the mat, concentrating on our tummies. But, for the remainder of the morning, none of us can keep a straight face.
Shortly after the class ends, a giant moving truck enters the cul-de-sac and stops in front of Pattyâs old house. A red Ferrari follows behind, and a strange looking man with bright red hair and a seersucker suit emerges. I already know this guy is going to be a douche.
âSomeone needs to tell him a redhead has no business driving a red car,â offers Gina. âAnd seersucker? Really? Did he just get back from the Kentucky Derby?â
âIt wonât be me,â says Greta. âHe looks too much like many of the blowhards I work with in my office. No, thank you.â
âBlowhard?â Maybe try that, Greta, and give your butt a break.â Gina laughs. Sheâs really on a roll with her jokes this morning. Strangely, weâre all entertained by Ginaâs snide remarks. These days, since concerts, movies, and music festivals are canceled until no one knows when, Gina is our best avenue for amusement.
âWell, if this new neighbor misbehaves, we can always deliver a fruitcake. Problem solved,â I say.
âGood idea,â says Gina. âI heard from the new HOA lady that heâs renting Pattyâs house until her children settle their fight over the estate.
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